In a world where economic crisis has become an epidemic, everyone is experiencing some form of anger. Despite your position in life at the moment, there is something that just doesn't settle right. While most people crave happiness, anger can be a useful emotion. Anger is often misunderstood as it is a much more complex emotion than happiness.
Humanity has been conditioned to view anger as Pandora's Box instead of understanding its true purpose. If anger was so bad, why would it be a normal phenomenon that we all experience as early as infancy? Anger is actually a form of release, something to spur someone into action. From expressing opinions to making vital changes in the world, anger is often the catalyst.
Anger is an impulse for self-preservation which is shared between both humans and animals alike when they are trapped or tormented. People feel angry when they sense themselves or someone they care about are offended. People choose to express their feelings depending on how they believe they can influence the outcome of the situation. For some, anger is simply a coping mechanism.
Anger isn't just one type of emotion. Imagine a spectrum with passive anger versus aggressive anger. Both have their own characteristic symptoms. Most people typically have one form or another depending on the situation, while others fall somewhere in between.
Passive anger is usually expressed in the following ways:
Dispassion, such as giving the cold shoulder or phony smiles, looking unconcerned, sitting on the fence while others sort things out, dampening feelings with substance abuse, overeating, oversleeping, not responding to another's anger, frigidity, indulging in sexual practices that depress spontaneity and make objects of participants, giving inordinate amounts of time to machines, objects or intellectual pursuits, talking of frustrations but showing no feeling.
Evasiveness, such as turning your back in a crisis, avoiding conflict, not arguing back, becoming phobic.
Ineffectualness, such as setting yourself and others up for failure, choosing unreliable people to depend on, being accident prone, underachieving, sexual impotence, expressing frustration at insignificant things but ignoring serious ones.
Obsessive Behavior, such as needing to be inordinately clean and tidy, making a habit of constantly checking things, over-dieting or overeating, demanding that all jobs be done perfectly.
Psychological Manipulation, such as provoking people to aggression and then patronizing them, provoking aggression but staying on the sidelines, emotional blackmail, false tearfulness, feigning illness, sabotaging relationships, using sexual provocation, using a third party to convey negative feelings, withholding money or resources.
Secretive behavior, such as stockpiling resentments that are expressed behind people's backs, giving the silent treatment or under the breath mutterings, avoiding eye contact, putting people down, gossiping, anonymous complaints, hate text, stealing, and conning.
Self-blame, such as apologizing too often, being overly critical, inviting criticism.
Self-Sacrifice, such as being overly helpful, making do with second best, quietly making long-suffering signs but refusing help, or lapping up gratefulness
Aggressive anger manifests itself in ways such as:
Bullying, such as threatening people directly, persecuting, using power to oppress, shouting, driving someone off the road, playing on people's weakness.
Destructiveness, such as destroying objects, harming animals, destroying a relationship, reckless driving, substance abuse.
Grandiosity, such as showing off, expressing mistrust, not delegating, being a sore loser, wanting center stage all the time, not listening, talking over people's heads, expecting kiss and make-up sessions to solve problems.
Hurtfulness, such as physical violence, including sexual abuse and rape, verbal abuse, biased or vulgar jokes, breaking a confidence, using foul language, ignoring people’s feelings, willfully discriminating, blaming, punishing people for unwarranted deeds, labeling others.
Manic behavior, such as speaking too fast, walking too fast, working too much and expecting others to fit in, driving too fast, and reckless spending.
Selfishness, such as ignoring others' needs, not responding to requests for help, queen jumping.
Threats, such as frightening people by saying how you could harm them, their property or their prospects, finger pointing, fist shaking, wearing clothes or symbols associated with violent behavior, tailgating, excessively blowing a car horn, or slamming doors.
Unjust blaming, such as accusing other people for your own mistakes, blaming people for your own feelings, making general accusations.
Unpredictability, such as explosive rages over minor frustrations, attacking indiscriminately, dispensing unjust punishment, inflicting harm on others for the sake of it, using alcohol and drugs, or illogical arguments.
Vengeance, such as being over-punitive, refusing to forgive and forget, bringing up hurtful memories from the past.
Anger can be a good thing. The problem comes when anger gets out of hand. It can cause problems at home, work and in relationships. Anger is normal and when used properly can give you a way to express negative feelings and even motivate you to find solutions to problems.
One way to express your anger where others are bound to understand you is Fufflist. Instead of letting anger get the best of you, express it in a safe environment. The video blog community allows you to upload funny video rants to express your anger in a positive, entertaining and even productive way.
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